Pairings: Jack/Ianto, John/Nick,
Characters: Jack, Ianto, John Hart, Nick Jones, and a cast of (probably!) thousands.
Spoilers: Set after Exit Wounds. Sequel to 'We Could Be Heroes'
Rating: Adult - it's going to get very dark in some places.
Warnings: Slash, language, angst, dark themes.
Summary: The boys set off for their honeymoon.
Disclaimer: I'm a student. I don't own Torchwood.
The Master List is here: anduria-trianys.livejournal.com/27610.ht
9th July, 2013...
The first voice sounded amused, if rather nervous. “This is not a good idea! Don't you think that Jack and Ianto will freak out if they catch us up here?”
“What?” The response was a laugh of shock. “Have you actually ever met Jack? He'll be storing the CCTV footage to watch it later on!”
“Okay, okay – Jack will keep the footage to watch, but Ianto will freak out if we're caught up here.”
“Oh, stop fussing!” Another laugh and the sound of someone's shirt being ripped off. “Besides, we are legally married now – what's wrong with flaunting it a bit? Besides, I think I can handle Ianto – I've seen him doing a damn sight more than this on the autopsy table with Jack when they think everyone's gone home!”
A pause followed. “Oh. Right. Well, I guess that changes things a bit.”
“A bit?!” The first voice laughed. “Since when have you turned into such a prude?”
“I am not a prude! I just don't fancy having your cousin bitching at us on the morning of our honeymoon. It tends to take the gloss off things just a little bit.”
“What?!” A different voice interrupted them. “You've already had to delay actually going on your honeymoon for a week because of that Rift and you think that Ianto bitching about you shagging on Jack's desk will take the gloss off the fact that you two are married?”
There was a click and then a light blazed on revealing Matt and Garrett standing in the doorway, both of them apparently very amused at the sight of Nick mauling John, who was spread out, half-naked, over Jack's desk, spilling papers everywhere as he did so. Whether they were more amused by John trying to hold back out of some sort of deference to Ianto, despite his obvious arousal, or by his badly ripped clothes that Nick had obviously tried to get off him in a great hurry, however, wasn't entirely clear.
Before he could make up his mind, though, Nick straightened up and gave the others an easy smile, apparently completely unbothered by the fact that not only were his glasses hanging off his nose, but also that his shirt was only on one shoulder and his shorts were open, revealing far more than perhaps would be considered decent. “Hello, boys,” he said, casually leaning against the desk so that his hair trailed over John's bare chest and his very impressive crotch in front of Garrett's face. “Seen something you...fancy?”
John laughed and straightened up. “I've rubbed off on him,” he said, wrapping his arm around Nick's waist. “And I think he might have rubbed off on me. It's the only explanation for why I'm not shagging him senseless over this desk at this precise moment.”
“I'll say you've rubbed off on me,” chuckled Nick. “The sheer number of stained sheets and clothes is more than enough to attest to that.”
Garrett let out a squeak of shock at Nick's words, which made John laugh. Clearly, even what the rest of the team had lately dubbed a 'lesson in lightening up' that his rollercoaster trip to Vegas and his spontaneous wedding had given him hadn't gotten him immune to his partner's flirtatious nature. In fairness, he was a bit shocked by Nick's forthright words as well, although he was far too busy remembering just how forthright his partner could be in other areas.
And if those aren't pleasant memories, I don't know what are...
He was rather surprised, though, when Nick poked him hard in the ribs, almost causing his bones to shift position. “Ow! What was that for?”
“Oh, come on; stop acting so prudish!” scoffed Nick. “You love it, really, and you know you do. The thought of everyone knowing that we've done it over Jack's desk turns you the hell on.”
“It certainly does,” said Matt, chuckling. “At least, if that bulge in his shorts is anything to go by, it does. Besides, what's the big deal? Before the wedding, you two hadn't gotten any for six months; I'm surprised you've even left the bedroom since we came back to Cardiff.”
“We weren't even planning on being in Cardiff at this point, you know,” retorted Nick.
John suddenly turned towards his husband. “You know,” he said slowly, “you're right. I do love the thought of everyone knowing that we've done it all over the Hub. It turns me on more than I think you could imagine. But do you know something?” He hooked his fingers into the belt loops on Nick's shorts and tugged him close, a broad grin spreading over his face, “I love you more.” With a laugh, and a quick wink for Matt and Garrett, he bent down and kissed Nick again, almost pushing him onto the desk.
“I need an insulin injection,” muttered Garrett, who was turning a little green at the very public display of affection between his two friends.
“No, you don't,” said John, who hadn't taken his eyes off Nick for a second. “You both need to leave us alone before you end up seeing an awful lot more than either of you had bargained for.”
“Unless you fancy joining us,” added Nick, grinning wickedly. Garrett squeaked again and rushed out of the office, Matt hot on his trail. As soon as they were alone again, Nick turned back round, giggling. “Did you see their faces?” he spluttered. “I thought Garry's eyes were going to bug out of his head!”
John laughed with him. “You are a very naughty man, Dr. Jones,” he growled and covered Nick's mouth with his own. “A very...naughty...man,” he ground out, punctuating each word with a kiss.
“Indeed I am,” chuckled Nick, reaching out and spinning them around so that now he was the one pressing John against the desk. “Oh, and by the way? It's Hart-Jones now.”
John fell silent for a moment before another broad grin spread over his face. “I love you,” he gasped and pulled Nick on top of him as he fell backwards onto the desk. “I love you so damn much,” he panted, his hands groping frantically at Nick's shirt and kissing every part of his skin he could reach. Wow, he thought as he finally managed to rip the shirt away, he really is beautiful. Look at him, lying there with that mane of red hair and that gorgeous grin on his face...how on earth did I manage to not jump him for six months?!
“Seen something you like, Captain?” asked Nick, his voice innocent enough, but his brown eyes were sparkling with mischief.
Shit. He knows what calling me that does to me! John licked his lips and swallowed convulsively. “You know damn well I have,” he answered, pulling Nick back on top of him and kissing him to within an inch of his life. “Oh, you know I have...Doctor.”
Twenty minutes later...
“Shouldn't...we be...going on our...honeymoon around...about now?” asked John as he tried not to focus on what the naked man in his arms was doing to him. “I mean...we've delayed it enough already...right?”
“True.” Nick came up for air, his face flushed and his glasses hanging off his nose. “But isn't me shagging you senseless a good reason for a slight further delay? Besides,” and his eyes travelled down their bodies, “we can't exactly leave right now; one step out of the tourist office and we'd be –”
“Arrested for indecent exposure?”
John jumped at the amused voice coming from the doorway and glanced up to find Ianto and Jack watching them. Ianto was clearly trying to look disapproving, but failing miserably since his mouth was twitching and his pupils were slightly dilated as he stared at them.
“Hey, guys,” said Nick, calmly pulling himself into a sitting position without as much as a blush. “You look as if you're enjoying the show.” He winked at his cousin and grinned at them both.
Ianto's mouth dropped open in shock. “I...you...”
Jack, however, was watching with his tongue practically hanging out of his mouth. “Well, what can I say? It's a damn good show,” he chuckled. “Please tell me you didn't shut off the CCTV.”
“Of course not!” scoffed Nick. “We know you, Jack. Plus, the girls would castrate us if we tried.”
Ianto shook his head. “Honestly, you two!” he chastised them mildly. “Can't you keep your –”
“No,” said John, his smile turning positively wolfish.
“If you were married to this man, would you be able to keep your hands off him for more than a second?” asked Nick, waggling his eyebrows.
“Yes!” said Ianto emphatically. “I've got a man of my own, thank you very much!”
“Gentlemen, gentlemen!” said Jack, clapping his hands. “As much fun as it is to hear you all bantering away like this, John is right. You two do have a honeymoon to be going on, and I do need my desk back.”
Nick stared at his friend for a moment before shrugging. “Yeah, okay,” he said ruefully and pulled his clothes back on, though John was quite intrigued to notice that he had decided to go without the white boxer shorts he'd pulled on that morning; instead, he threw them into the cloth sack at the back of the office where Ianto kept all of Jack's dirty washing from when he'd been on a night shift. “Okay,” he said finally, turning to his husband and clapping his hands. “So, where are we going?”
Two hours later, Bristol International Airport...
John had known that his idea would impress Nick; the man had a love of flying that surpassed anyone he knew, including Jack – a fact that had surprised them both equally. He had, however, failed to consider just how impressed Nick would be, though this was made much clearer when he suddenly found himself with an armful of redhead and being kissed to within an inch of his life.
“Wow!” he gasped when he was finally able to speak. “I've had some great reactions to ideas, but that has to be the best! If I'd known what this was going to bring out in you, I'd have done it a lot sooner.”
“Ha!” said Jack, who had come to see them off. “It was my idea, and you know it!” He grinned over at Nick, who was hopping up the stairs to the cockpit. “Do I get a storm of kisses as well?”
“You should be so lucky!” scoffed Nick, without even turning around. He bounded into the cockpit and a moment later, John heard him yell out, “This is fantastic, fantastic, fantastic!”
Jack chuckled. “You'd better get up there, John, otherwise he's going to be flying that plane alone.”
“Aye, aye, Captain!” John saluted his friend, gave him a hug and bounded into the cockpit, laughing out loud when he saw that Nick was reclined in the black leather pilot's chair and wearing a ridiculous-looking hat and a mouthpiece. At this moment, he was fiddling with some of the controls and making announcements that had very little, or nothing, to do with flying.
“We're not going to be getting very far if you keep talking like that, you know,” he said, walking behind Nick and rubbing his shoulders before he kissed the top of his head and sat down beside him.
“It's your fault,” said Nick amicably. “I'm not entirely sure how, but it is.”
“Hey!” John playfully slapped him across his shoulders in mock protest. “You were the one making the suggestions in the first place!”
“Yes, but it's your fault for being so damn gorgeous.”
“Well,” John preened a little, “I guess I can admit to that. But right now, I believe we have a honeymoon to be heading off on, so I'd get us in the air before I start trying out some of those things you were suggesting!”
Nick grinned and started up the engine. “Oh yeah,” he said and settled down to the controls, his grin spreading further over his face as he taxi-ed the plane across the tarmac, slowly gathering speed until the wheels finally left the ground and they were soaring over Bristol, watching as the houses and roads grew smaller and smaller until finally they were swallowed up by the clouds.
John whistled. “You really are a keen flier,” he said. “That was one of the best take-offs I've ever had the pleasure of experiencing.”
“Really?” Nick raised his eyebrows. “Wow, you must have been with some bad pilots; that was one of the worst take-offs I've ever done.”
“Keep telling yourself that,” retorted John. He leaned over and checked their altitude. “Okay, see that metallic blue button there?”
“Yeah, what is that?”
“That, my friend, is the self-installed hyperdrive.”
“Hyperdrive?” repeated Nick, laughing. “What are we going to do, make a jump into hyperspace or something?” Then he caught John's nod and laughed harder. “That's a bit Star Wars, isn't it?”
“It might seem so, but the principle is sound enough,” said John. “Besides, unlike when Han Solo tries it, this one actually works.” I hope. “And it will automatically set the course for where we're going, which is great news, because I want to surprise you and I can't really do that if I'm giving you flying directions!”
“Hmm.” Nick cocked his brow slightly. “Well, in that case...let's go, shall we?” Reaching over, he pressed the button. “I hope this doesn't end up making you – woah!”
John heartily agreed. Woah is about right! He managed to bite back the scream that was building in his throat, but he couldn't stop himself from gripping the seat so he wouldn't pitch forwards onto the controls as a golden light enveloped the plane and filled the cockpit before the plane suddenly took off with a burst of almost terrifyingly violent speed into the swirling golden dust of the Rift tunnel. Flashes of colours burst from every direction, briefly enveloping the ship and exploding around them like fireworks.
“This is incredible!” exclaimed Nick, who had an enormous smile on his face, even though he'd gone almost as green as the dragon on his shirt.”It's like the best ever rollercoaster!”
“So, it's better than Alton Towers?”
“I've never been to Alton Towers, but this has to be better than anything there!” shouted Nick as the plane abruptly nosedived several feet. “For one thing, my friends who've been there say that it's what they imagine it could be like in space! But this actually is in space!”
“I had noticed,” said John weakly. “And I swear that the universe has gotten more unstable since I last travelled through it.”
Nick whipped round. “John, are you telling me you're getting travel-sick?!”
“You don't exactly look too brilliant yourself!” retorted John, reaching out to grip the arms of the chair. “No matter; we're coming out onto the other side now.”
“The other side of what?” asked Nick, but then the question was answered as the plane shot out of the cloud and into...
“Woah,” Nick whispered. “Now, I see what we came out the other side of.” He gazed out at the view from the cockpit. “The universe.”
They were now flying through a deep blue sky, which seemed to grow lighter in the distance, until it eventually brightened into the stunning bright shade of the aquamarine stone that made the dragon's eye in Nick's necklace. Tiny whisps of cloud shot past them, flashing silver and white as several slowly rising suns began to shine and send their rays of light all over the horizons. Entire solar systems and galaxies became visible before their very eyes, the planets twinkling and glowing like large and colourful stars.
John picked Nick up and pulled him into his lap. “I wanted to show you the real beauty of the universe,” he said. “I get the feeling that you didn't really get much of a chance to see it when you were with the Time Agency.”
“No,” said Nick quietly. “No, I didn't. I was a little busy trying not to get myself killed and trying to resist the increasing desire I had to kick Orion's arse into oblivion.”
“Well, I'm going to change that, right here and now,” said John, slinging his arm around Nick. “Your guided tour of the universe starts here – and there's a lot that I can tell you!”
“I'm sure there is – starting with where we're actually going.”
“Why?” asked John. “You worried that we'll get lost, even with this state-of-the-art navigation system that I installed in the plane?”
“No!” laughed Nick. “I trust you and your technology...well, sort of.” He patted John's leg. “Just honest curiosity – you don't have to tell me the name of the place; just point it out to me. I'm guessing you can see it from here, right?”
“Well,” John shifted a bit, “yes...you can see it...just. See that little blue planet there?”
“The one that looks like a rather misshapen diamond?” asked Nick. “Yeah, I can just see it. Looks a bit far away, doesn't it? It'll take us forever to get there.”
“No, it won't.” John flicked a switch and illuminated another display on the control panel. “See that? That's the speed we're travelling at and that's the distance to where we're going. So, you see, we're actually travelling much faster than you think we are.”
“But...” Nick's mouth dropped slightly. “But...it looks tiny! The planet, that is.”
“It is small,” said John. “It's only about the size of Britain and Ireland – including the Irish Sea. It's small, but very beautiful, being made up of thousands of different islands and sea that's so clear you can see every freckle on your nose in it.”
“Hence the insistence on the snorkelling gear.”
“Exactly. And the views of the universe...” John sighed. “It's like nothing you've ever seen before and, I'll wager, nothing you'll ever see again. On a clear night, it's said that you can almost make out Mount Everest, although whether that's true or not, I'm not sure.”
“It sounds like paradise,” said Nick dreamily. He leaned back and gazed out of the windows as the universe rolled past them, his eyes half-closed as John's voice drifted through the cockpit, rich with laughter as he recalled some of the escapades he and Jack had gotten up to during their days with the Time Agency.
John let out a soft breath and absently played with the bracelet on his wrist. He still almost couldn't believe he was wearing it; that he'd found someone who he wanted to spend the rest of his life with.
Well, he amended, he couldn't spend the rest of his life with Nick; as much as he wanted to, his immortality prevented that. But they could at least spend the rest of Nick's life together, however long it lasted.
My God, he thought, catching sight of himself in a reflection in the window. Sometimes, I hardly recognise myself. I can't believe I've changed so much that I'd ever want to wear one of these bracelets. I don't think I would even have done that for Jack! He chuckled softly and twirled the bracelet around. Although, there was that one time when we had to pretend to be a newly married couple so we could get onto that planet where the time runner was hiding! His soft chuckles suddenly escalated into full-blown laughter at the memory of that mission – that had almost ended in an orgy involving several of the inhabitants of that particular planet, not to mention the errant time runner in question – and within seconds, actual tears of mirth were streaming down his cheeks and he was gasping and clutching his sides with laughter.
“John?” Nick's quiet voice suddenly cut through his musings and he turned to see his partner looking slightly alarmed. “You okay?”
“Yeah.” John coughed and smiled. “Just thinking of something, that's all.”
“Must have been something pretty amazing for you to miss that we've just landed,” said Nick, pointing out of the window. “And it looks beautiful from where I'm sitting.”
John blinked. “We've landed?” he asked, craning his neck slightly. “So we have!” He unfastened their seatbelts, ignoring Nick's protests that he could do it perfectly well himself, kicked open the door and stuck his head outside, allowing the bright summer sun to carress his face and breathing in the sweet smell of the flowers and fruits, all offset by the tangy aroma of the turquoise water all around them.
A moment later, he heard a melodious voice singing and he smiled and turned back to Nick. “Come on,” he said, pulling him out of his seat and leading him out of the plane and onto the soft grass towards the sea where their ride was waiting. “Your carriage awaits, my love.”
Nick chuckled and stroked the creature's nose as it warbled softly at him. “Is she a...”
“A dalphonic rhapsadon, yes,” said John. “They're native to this planet. This one is a special friend of mine; I've known her for years.” He tickled her nose, making her chuckle. “And she's going to take us over the water to our home for the next week. So, let's hop on.”
“Seriously?” Nick looked uneasy. “It won't hurt her?”
“If it did, I wouldn't be telling you to do it,” said John, seating himself on one side and pulling Nick beside him. He stroked the dolphin's head. “Let's go!”
Next Time: The first week of the honeymoon as told by our beloved Captain Hart! (Well, the slightly censored version, anyway!)